Monday, May 22, 2006
as usual its taken me forever to put in a blog entry...
sometimes i wonder if i was a good enough friend? if i was, wouldnt they have made more of an effort to stay in touch? wouldnt i have received some form of acknowledgement that we were once friends or that i still exist in their lives? but then, have i made that much of an effort? sure i say the occasional hello on msn..but wat have i really done to maintan the close friendship? but do i have to make all the effort? why cant they say the first hello online? friendship is two way traffic. im the sort of person who needs to see ana ttempt being made in order to respond. sur ei understand everyone has their own lives but i see other situations with other friends who have gone overseas and they still remain as close as ever..even friends whom ive met here who are international students. it seems like ive faded out of the picture. doe sit bother me? sure it does..when i get into moods like this. but who wouldnt? you think your a close enough friend but then it gets thrown back in your face.
you talk to people online...they seem escitd to talk to you. they claim to miss you...but is it real? or is it just soemthing we all feel obliged to say but holds no real meaning? i can tell when i see other converse that tehy mean it. but then with me it seems somewhat hypocitical. im not referring to any instance in particular, nor any specific friend. but its just suddenly dawned on me. te one time i have a moment to myself where im not online, not running around uni, not juggling 2 jobs and i wonder if i really had friends. were they actually friends? if they were then why am i the only one who has moved on that has found it difficult to keep connections?
i know im too blame..im caught up with my life here. i cant even remember when ive had ME time...i have great mates over here. people whom im trust my life with it. maybe thast why its been harder to keep in touch...but that cant be it, it doenst make sense. one good thing though..my best friend in the entire world is coming to perth! neeta i cant wait to see you! im sur ehanita can keep you and nisha occuppied till the 23rd whch is when i finish my exams!! omg exams are here....2 weeks to go..im screwed..ive had too many distractions of late!
hmm right i dont even know if people would bother reading this blog anymore, let alone this LONG post..but in case ya'll are interested in my life (though not very eventful haha) i shall give an update!
first things first, if anyone would like to help me change my blog skin again to maybe something a bit more dark thatd be appreciated!
so..whats been happening???
my dads back! things with you know what are still up in the air and a great cause of stress for my entire family but i try not to think about it. i drown myself in other things like work and uni and alcohol! yes im a bordering alcoholic..so much so that with a hangover yesterday i still went to a sunday session at the cott and didnt go home...crashed at AJs house and went to uni this morning!
we had bens farewell get together at the cott. hes going back to france! his exchange trip is over! im gonna miss that little frenchie! but it was so nice..it was us, the beach, dolphins swimming in the shallows and the most vibrant sunset you could imagine. it was peaceful. in that moment all my troubles vanished..only to come crashing back today. didnt bother me yest cos after the beach went to the cott for drinks!
i love going out with guys..it was me and 5 guys..and cos of that i didnt have a single guy hit on me or feel me up or anything! it was great! (im in an anti guy rant at the moment cos of all the crap i deal with doing promo work) moving on..i had such a good time!
only down side of last night was watching chris get drunk. chris is a pretty good friend. half german half cambodian. despite my superficiality ive liked him since i met him. theres just something you cant explain. 17 days ago we finally hooked up at my talent laid tri law party. but what do i do? i push him away...i cant get over my fear of risking a freindship. i say its my superficiality but with chirs i dont care. he makes me smile. he gives me warm fuzzys. its actually me being too afraid. we had a talk. we decided to remain friends. he said he'll be waiting...
my excuse to him, matt. cos im an idiot, at the same tri law show..i hooked up with matt as well. matt is this guy which i use to think was hot but im sooo wrong...my perception of guys has been wacked as of late! but anyway...matt became my "what if" guy. hes tall, hes got green eyes, carly thinks hes hot, he does law at uwa, he likes me..one prob, hes younger than me..and by a lot! but how could i start going out with chris if i had matt looming in my thoughts..itd be emotionally cheating. i needed to see if something would happen with matt and i. which is what i told chris. and he didnt care...he told me he'd wait..grrrr
sat night it became official. matt's my boyfriend i think..tho im not sure. cos sat night he as like "will you go out with me..as in dating" and iw as like ok sure..but then he smsed his friend hed been staying at the para longer with his gf. so i asked if we were dating or im his gf and he said gf. but i dunno. its weird. whatever it is, im off the market again haha. what about chris? he is my friend whom i have feelings for. last night i had to tell chris about matt and i. he drank himself into a stupor. had to try and get him to bed and i was the ony one he'd listen to. but he was so cute...he gets so silly and childish when hes drunk. makes me smile thinking about it. dont think me looking after him helped him much...he said that he knows i like him and he knows i have to get my "what if" guy outta my system and he doesn care....why does he make it harder! gawd idiot!
so now, here i am...happy to be with matt but inside confused about chris. so am i now emotionally cheating on matt? oh to make my life even more interesting....ben (the frenchie) declared that hes liked me for a while. great for me. too bad hes leaving on thurs, id love to french kiss and french guy. then theres jeremy whom is hot but short and i met while working. and kim whom i met last wed. and tim who is coming back from kal. but like i declare the last 3 dont count! its like when your looking for a specifc pair of shoes and you cant find them anywhere. you finally find them and next thing you know every shoe shop in town is selling them! ive had my dry spots with guys for far too long and the min you find one you get more than you asked for. its like what happened when i first starting seeing ryan.
boys=trouble but despite that im gonna be jesso's pimp on wed and hook her up...we're gonna get "MESSED THE FUCK UP" an go to uni still drunk on thurs. one last night out with the girls before i crash and burn for my exam! i gotta study....and not with matt cos that may be a distraction haha!
god theres so many other things going on in my life. so many funny uni stories to tell. weird nights out with my mates. eagles winning. liverpool winning. world cup coming up. my stalking mission. my *****ing ** mission- cant say online in case it gets used against me in court haha! so much has happenend. i love uni life. i lov work. i love the social events. but this blog is too long. wouldnt wanna bore anyone with more details. till next time!
*cassie* ♥
11:33 PM
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Tuesday, April 25, 2006
hey people...so once again its been forever since ive updated my blog. same reason as before..im a lazy bitch haha. its a cold rainy autumn day here. its ANZAC day and so we got the day off..so im sitting at home listening to kelly clarkson cos she makes me feel better..i should be studyin but haha when do i ever study??
well its been abt 8 weeks now since dad went back to singapore and carly has been living with me. but hes back on monday to settle evrything then i think hes moving to new zealand then i'll be living by myself for real!!! i should be able to afford it since i have a job at liquorland, a job doing promotions in clubs and a job doing promotions at the vacation club i use to work for! only thing i gotta do now, is drive. and since i have a massive phobia it could prove to be a problem!
well im sure most of you know that i am single again. ryan was a cunt haha....but yea had a date with tim on friday which was really good! but he lost his keys! left it at the restaurant and only realised it after the movie when the place had closed! and since he lives north of the river he stayed at my place! but dont worry people, nothing happened!!!! he slept in my room and carly and i slept together in sean's room where carly has been stayin! but i had a really good time.....dinner and a movie is always the best way to go! met him on wed when i was at carnegies with jess, jasmyn, stace, nads and chelsea! too bad he lives in kal(the country) cos he's doing his final year in mining and has to be near the mines!
we had a 1 week study break which i didnt use very wisely..instead i went out and got plastered on sat- where i met a pom called john, monday- where there was a water bomb law faculty fight a suburb near me and then the after party at brando's house..and then wed night at carnegies
i did promo work at harbourside on thursday for tequila! that was fun work! i mean i get paid to walk arnd looking hot, talkin to guys, flirting with them and getting them to buy tequila shots! of course i couldnt drink but i was tipsy when i got to work cos i was at a law dinenr before that! had to pretend to be sober in front of the boss! eekss!! but oh that was fun! and then worked at a bottle shop on sat doin promo again and then at a pub in freo for a sunday session selling vodka...the new premix vodka drink by absolut! its really yummy! yea and after work i danced a bit and someone else asked for my number....ego boost! and i got a drink bought for me! doing promo work again on friday in subi for canadian club..and like theres a game the guys can play to win prizes too so its all gd! maybe go out after work! only thing is i have to wear this skimpy top......but thats not very different to how id dress to go out on sat! hee
only bad thing was, i was sick from friday onwards..so i was sick for my date, sick for work on sat, sick for work on sunday...had a 30% torts assignment due in at 12 on monday and so stayed up the entire night doing it. went for kfc after i handed the assignment in with stace and carly to treat ourselves and went home to sleeeppp! gd thing for the public holiday today! jesso might come over later to watch movies and have a piss up! hehehe...my liver will eventually fail on me i reckon!
oooo i forgot to pay special mention to the West Coast Eagles who have gone undefeated.....we are so gonna get into the AFL grand final again this year! and this time, we're gonna win! go the eagles!!!! booo to every other team!!
man this is a long post...but yea i better mention that my house got broken into a couple of weeks back! i wasnt home cos i was at the prosh after party! but carly was..she didnt hear anything cos she was dead tired after being up since 2am for prosh! but yea they didnt take much..just some money, jewellery and a handphone which were on the ground floor! lucky us hey! now we have a fancy security system..well its just improved cos we have little panic buttons attached to our keys now! oh and i got a street drinking fine the sat before that..but man it was from the HOTTEST guy i have ever seen in my life..im not including celebrities and stuff..though hes about as hot as jensen ackles in supernatural! like omg he was so hot! i dont usually say guys are
REALLY hot but he was like a million out of 10 on my scale..he was my dreamboat! oh shit! i havent paid it yet! crap!
oh this is a picture from prosh where i dressed up as a slutty cop and sold my newspapers for charity! all those other girls were hanitas friends..i only knew carly and stacey! carly was the slutty nun and stacey was the indian goddess! at the after party
and this one is the picture from the roller disco! doesnt that skinny guy, james, look like an alien? and like tom was so drunk when we took that..the other gals are hanita(from singappore on exchange), bec, claire, nads, carly and of course me! thought i should include them since i never have pictures on my blog! too bad i dont have more..i really should take pictures of all of us when we got out..
*cassie* ♥
3:13 PM
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Saturday, March 25, 2006
id like to state for the record that i am officially...FAT!!! ive gained so much weight since carly moved in..plus excessive alcohol consumption does add a few pounds...and i havent been to the gym in ages!! just great....
anyway...my hollywood moment has turned into an indian bollywood soap opera! mainly cos i overreact and over think everything....but meh its a long story and basically ryan thinks im an idiot..but hey he accepts me for it haha!
ok so i have a tiny problem. i cant remember what happened at dan's party last night. and neither can carly. and dan wont answer the smses so im afraid i might have done something and yea im screwed! like i remember the first part of the night and then after that i dont recall anything! like this has never happened! sure ive had nights i remember bits and pieces and have flashbacks but this time my mind is completely blank! i woke up today..at dan's place cos we stayed over..and i was like..wtf happened last night..im kinda worried hey!
but yea im being a good girl and stayin home tonight despite it being a sat...well the only reason is cos im too broke to go out..but i wanna go cos ryan will be at the para too! *sob sob*...well thats ok, i might see him tomorrow if hes not too hung over!
wish i was at law camp..but i guess theres not much point goin cos i cant hook up! but im so going next year! like 80bucks, 3 days 2 nights...free flow alcohol and food..and like the best parties at nanga bush camp! grrr i hsould have gone...i even missed the dress to get laid party in uni last night cos of dans house party! damn you dan!! haha! oh i must explain..the "dress to get laid" party is basically where you dress like skanks..drink yourself silly and hook up! dont you love uni events! and i missed it! but again i cant hook up! gawd idiot! im not use to this whole relationship thingy!
im so dying in law hey...like arts was so easy and now im in first yr law but like im doing second yr units too! so im dying......but i see james marzak and eurasian james everywhere now...i love doing law just cos the guys are so damn hot! but oh me oh my..theres this one guy i keep seeing and he really pushes my buttons hey.....yummy....for some reason uni is like the best sausage fest ever this year! sooo much talent!!! hehehe....but yea besides the guys in law, im loving crim law!
oh yea i almost forgot! remember roller disco and i said thsi guy james was tryin to pash me the entire night..well james is like nerdy and whatever, im a superficial bitch..why ould i pash him? especially since im seeing ryan..but ANYWAY, he has told all his mates which are my mates as well that he hooked up with me !like omg wtf!! now people would think i pahed him! argh this is so bad..sure if he was hot i wouldnt care but hes not!!!! and i tell ryan right and he doesnt even care!!!
oh oh oh and worse..im being sexually harrassed at my guild cafe! recall fernando? the guy who like tried pashing me some sat night a few weeks back..well he smsed me the next day right askin to go out and im like oh i have a bf..basically tellin him to fuck off! but like now when i see him in uni...when i go to buy my wedges at the guild, he blows me LOUD kisses in front of EVERYONE!! he gives me and my friends more food so i tolerate it but like the other day he sends me this message and it went something along the lines of "im sorry but i really must tell you your hot and lucky your boyfriend"...like WTF!!!!! plus that day i was wearing the crappiest clothes...and i love hangin out at the guild but cos of him its so uncomfy! and again, i tell ryan and he like doenst care...you know what he said! i cld kill him..he was like "your hot, what do you expect" like hello!! go beat him up or smth!!! yea so argh the story of my life....sheesh
i got a job! im a promo girl in clubs for like different types of alcohol and stuff! oh and i went for an interview to work as a bar staff at metro city..biggest club in perth! which means id work night shifts..itd cut down my social life but hey its good pay if i get the job!
ok this is a massively long post..only cos i dont update it regularly! anyway, catch ya'll online!
*cassie* ♥
7:24 PM
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Friday, March 10, 2006
well its been a while hasnt it? my blog has become dead. ive just been too busy to type a post. plus nothing much has happened. well nothing of real interest to you guys anyway...
sometimes i dont get girls. we wan a nice decent guy and when we find one we wonder whats wrong with him when he hasnt even pashed you after 3 dates. we start thinking hes gay or weird or something. and we find it so hard to blieve that he may actually be a nice guy. like i was sceptical about ryan..like you tell me that you really like me. you text me after i drunk dial you tellin me not to hook up with another guy. but you dont pash me. guys just like girls are so hard to get. but haha i invited him to finner at my place on wed cos dad's outta town. he was suppose to be over by 7 but i got home from uni at 630 and had to throw togetehr a very quick dinner. but ye ai told him to take his time so he got here at about 730 instead. but oh my god...carly is living with me for now right and so he knew shed be here..but then stacey and jess show up as well haha!! but strangely enough it turned out good. they went to watch house giving us some time..but we joined then after a bit. stace and jess are fantastic girls hey..they left at about 915..and then carly, making it obvious, went to bed at 930 so we could actually have out date! but all drama with ryan and not knowing wat i was to him sorta ended..i never thought id get a scene from a movie in my life..but this is how it went...
he had to leave at about 1130 cos he had work..he refused to get off my bed though cos he wanted to sleep..so i kicked him off and walked him to his car..and he refused to get in..so i was like "are we just gonna stand here for 10 min or you gonna leave?" and he was like.."im leaving but not before i kiss you..." and the rest is history..i get all girly just thinking of it! i got my hollywood scene!
haha but yea im such a fuck-head...went out last night and sent him drunk smses..i bet he hates me now although im his date for his cricket black tie party tmr night! ive known him for 3 weeks and like last week itself i drunk called him 3 nights in 1 week!!! (yes i get very drunk very often now..i cant help it, there are so many uni parties to go for!)and i think carly called him but yea i dunno what he or she said..i was too drunk to care!
oh my god roller disco was fantastic last night!!! we all dressed up in our 1970s gear and headed to uni to catch the bus from the tav to the roller rink! so by the time we get there everyone is sooooo drunk cos we were drinking in the bus, had the lights on and 1970s music blasting and everyone just jamming to the music! so i havent used skates since i was 10, i only know how to blade but blades cost 3bucks and skates are free! so heres a mental image for you.....hundreads of drunk people on roller skates falling down all over the place! i woke up today bruised and battered, and i think ive sprained my wrist! but oh my god it was soo much fun..exactly like what you see in That 70s Show! apparently tom and james were tryin to pash me the entire night but i dont remember much hey....i was drunk by 8pm cos it started at 7pm..and passed out in carlys car by 11pm!!! wat a record!!! haha...poor carly couldnt drink cos she had to drive and had work today! but oh my god, nads, bec, claire, hanita and i were off our faces and tryin to skate!! too bad i dont have pictures!! you should have seen how we were dressed!!
random thought...
when you seem to be seeing a guy, suddenly every guy seems to want to get with you but when your single and free your unnoticed! its so weird hey! like last wed nihar says he loves me and always has..then on fri at the law courtyard show james marzak(my ex-crush) says he used to like me but thought i didnt like him..this isnt including the guys in the clubs! like what the fuck is going on! now that ryan has specifially told me he "hopes i wont hook up with other guys" cos he "really likes me" i have my choice and i cant take! i sound so full of myself hey but yea this is my blog and this is whats happening! god i hope ryan denst hate me..cos i really like him!
jess and carly hadnt met ryan till wed, only saw a pic of him..and so yea they agreed with me he isnt that hot..but apparently that pic didnt do him justice cos they think hes hot..but i mean how much more of an aussie guy could i get hey..blondish/brown hair, lives by the beach, surfs a bit, plays cricket and footy and drives a freaking holden! geeezz...but yea hes an accountant...hah-boring!
arghhhh ive missed my first 2 contract law lectures-which i have to listen to!! and ive got a ton of reading to do for torts cos i didnt do last weeks so thats 2 weeks of work to do! and plus i have legal process readings! and on top of that i need my criminal law books to do readings for mondays class and i dont have them!! im so screwed hey! and like i should be doing it now but im so tired after last night! and i got dinner at tara's place tongiht..another party..gosh..and then tmr ryans ball...help!!!!! i need to get my priorities straight! and i have to find a job!!! i need money! i have 17 dollars to my name!
right im gonna cook lunch now! till next time people!
ps. i hope my dad takes the job in nz cos i love living alone with carly! but i will miss him! but no parents around, wow!!!!
*cassie* ♥
1:11 PM
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Sunday, February 19, 2006
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO NAT!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO NAT!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOOOOOOO FERNANDINO...............
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hope ya have a great day hun! all the best and omg i cant believe your 20! your not a TEEN!!! heheheeh welcome to the club!! hope ya got ya e-card!
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i'm in love with Dale Begg-Smith! he's the moguls olympic gold medalist! he was canadian but he's represented australia the past 3 years! and im in love with him! he's so quiet and hot and talented and at 13 he started an internet company and over the past few years it has become a multi-million dollar business! and he's only 21!! he's my age!! but sad to say, he has a hot, cute little blond girfriends...bah!
anyway...im back in perth!! had a HUGE night out last night...met jess's other friends...but in the end jess never made it out...she passed out before we left for the club haha! so the rest of us went out together!! i even left my id at home so my mate who had downed 2 botles of wine drove me all the way home..which is very far! thank god we didnt get stopped by a booze bus! haha drink driving is very bad but hey im still in one piece lol! i need carbs..im so hungry and hungover....
gotta go to uni on tue to register my law units!! but first, meeting tara tomorrow for lunch..still havent seen nads or carly yet..better make plans with them! and i gotta get a job!
miss you guys in singapore heaps!! love ya'll! thanks for coming to the airport!!! oh and marcus, thank you sooo much for sending me a Vday card!!! it was here when i arrived and i wnated to sms ya but i dont have ya number so text me k! THANK YOU!! it was so sweet....ive never gotten a valentine card before...!!!
oh well im off to cook something starchy and fattening!!
*cassie* ♥
5:45 PM
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Wednesday, February 01, 2006
well its been a while...and i know my blogs become dead cos ive been too lazy to blog about anything..its not like nothing interesting has happened but with a computer that moves slower than the council one in reynolds office it sunderstandable why i refuse to gte online..anyway the new computer will arrive within the week thank heavens!
oh by the way, just in case you didnt know by now, my handphone was stolen like 3 weeks back and so ive lost everyones phone numbers..so if i havent been keeping in touch i apologise. i only have the numbers of people who have messaged me so drop me a message so i can save your number...havent seen a lot of peeople in ages so we should totally meet up soon ok!
saw divya the other day which was fabulous! i havent seen her for like 3 years!!! talked about everything..shes been studying in teh states..lucky her! oh and ive decided that im gonna go on a student exchange to the states..so im either gonna go to UCLA or McGill....i just have sort out expenses and things...
well im gettin lazy again..so im off! ta!
*cassie* ♥
2:12 PM
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Tuesday, January 03, 2006
2006.
well id like to say that 2006 started out perfect! but sad to say, it was the worse countdown/ night/ day of my life. reason for this i cannot say for it is not my story to tell. the year may have started in tears but now its time to balance it out so im gonna be optimistic and say that the rest of the year is gonna be a pretty good one!
despite all the drama and worry of that day though, i found out something about myself. it may be thick skinned to say but still...im actually a really good friend. now recently ive drifted further apart from most of my friends as compared to the distance when i was in australia so many may seriously disagree with me. if you do, tell me..i'll take it as constructive criticism. ive always been a good listener and if you want me to be a friend, and your a friend, then i'll be one. but hurt me, and well thats that. im not tryin to push them away but maybe people are mad at me or maybe they dont like the changes in me. nonetheless, when my friend needed me the most, i was there. i was stubborn and for that im proud of myself.
2005 was actually a pretty good year for me personally. sure it wasnt great for my family as a whole but lookin back, im happy with it cos all i remember are the fun times. i reckon 2006 will be the same or better! when i finally go back home, i have secure friendships to return to. people who actually missed me and a whole lotta fun waiting for my return. haha
its weird but in that instant, my life became clear. i feel mature. i feel fresh. kinda lame? well so what? im goin home soon. im gonna miss a few people A LOT and others, not so much cos they havent really made my trip back enjoyable. although some did bring clarity and the realisation of what a true friend is. im gonna miss my mum cos she has to work in singapore now. im gonna miss my brother so so much cos he'll be in NS. but, 2006 is a new year and i dont want to dwell on what depresses me. i dont want to feel sorry for myself. i wanna learn from every single bad or good experience i have.
what i ask myself are me new years resolutions? well..apart from losing like at LEAST 8-10 kilos lol, i wanna
1. be a better friend
2. enjoy life, and not dwell on the bad
3. stop being melodramatic (unless its in a funny way)
4. get at least 2 jobs
5. study way way way harder (that includes partying harder too)
6. save up enough for my 21st bday and a trip to thailand with my mates (hopefully)
7. take up dancing classes
8. be me, and not regret being me.
happy new year guys! here's to friends, family, and partying hard!
ps. NEVER GO TO MOS....i will never ever ever patronise that club again till the day you say you will too. love ya darl!
*cassie* ♥
12:57 AM
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